In our lives, we encounter various individuals, each occupying a different place in our social circles: friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances. Whether consciously or subconsciously, we categorize these relationships into tiers: close friends, acquaintances, and so forth.
What criteria do you use to distinguish between a friend and an acquaintance?
For many, the duration of acquaintance often plays a significant role; our closest bonds often stem from spending time during our school or college years. Others base their categorization on the qualities they admire in individuals, or the commonalities they share (for example, a shared love for a particular sport).
Additionally, relationships are dynamic. People evolve, their values shift, and sometimes, the connection we once felt may diminish as our paths diverge. In such instances, individuals may find themselves demote to a different tier in our categorization.
Lets look at it from a different lens: what nurtures a relationship? And we shall understand what truly contributes to categorizing relationships.
Shared Experiences
Every relationship revolves around shared experiences, holding within moments spent together in various activities.
We remember and rank a relation by the memories we have shared together. These moments of togetherness, say going on a fun trip or enjoying a friday night out, or engaging in a heated argument, these experiences shape the fabric of our relationships.
Our memories of people are often intertwined with the experiences we’ve shared with them.
Key Factors
Consequently, the nature of our relationships is influenced by two key factors:
- The
duration of these shared experiences.
Naturally, the longer we’ve shared experiences with someone, the stronger our relationship tends to be.
However, mere longevity isn’t enough. There are instances where we’ve known someone for years, yet no longer find the relationship fulfilling, eg: Toxic relationships. - Our individual
interpretation of these shared experiences.
Each of us perceives events in our lives through our unique lens. It’s essential to consider whether our interpretations align with those of our counterparts in the relationship. Divergent/conflicting interpretations can lead to misunderstandings and strain the relationship.
Relationship Matrix
Let’s visualize this concept with a relationship matrix:
